We had the first scan on Wednesday and I have to say I was a bit nervous. Excited as well, but certainly had butterflies whirling in my stomach and possibilities whirling in my head. Our appointment was at 9:00 and they took us in nearly straight away. We didn't go straight to the scan, first we went to the height and weight place where I stood on this very cool machine that measures your bone mass and fat content and all sorts of measurements all at once. You stand on metal bits in bare feet and hold more metal bits in your hand and it passes an electrical current through you to measure various resistances... all very science-y and I liked it. She then talked us through our options for screening. They can test to tell you the likelihood of your baby having Downs Syndrome, but not everyone wants to know this information - so it's optional and you have to agree to have it done (I did). We also had to have a read through of the various optional research studies we could take part in and sign consent (I always do. Teaching hospitals are there to teach, and I see nothing wrong with helping out). Then we went through to the scan room, I gave some blood (easy peasy this time, and all ok) then laid down on the table and got the gel squirted on.
I don't know what I expected at this point. I was still in the process of emotionally preparing myself. For good, for bad, for whatever - I was inhaling the first of what I expected were to be many deep breaths to slowly take in what was about to happen. And didn't get to finish my inhale. I guess I thought they would have to look around or something, or the image to develop or something. I don't really know why it came as such a shock. But the thing touched my belly and we INSTANTLY saw the baby. It was a shock. It was there, on screen. A proper baby with arms and legs and it was jumping about. All my worst nightmares and what-ifs were gone in a split second and without preparation. I can't say that I was emotional in the sense that I started crying. I was too stunned for that. But it was certainly emotional in the sense of a multitude of emotions fighting for their place to be on top. Pretty mind-blowing stuff.
But the end result is that all is well. We were in the scan for ages to check everything was where it should be. Part of the reason it took so long is because the baby wouldn't hold still. Stretching and flipping and wiggling and basically having a womb-rave. (I've been looking forward to feeling it move... now I'm not so sure!). And then, after all that, it turned the worst way around and fell asleep. No poking or prodding could convince it to flip over. Stubborn from the start :) Luckily we did manage to get a few good pictures...
My favourite - you can see the umbilical cord and it looks like it's got a little pouty lip:
My second favourite - we couldn't tell if it was sucking its thumb or just holding its hand very close to its mouth, but still quite exciting to see something so definitely baby-like in something so small:
And one more that's not too exciting, but worth a look nonetheless:
So there you have it! It's all become very very real. It's officially no longer a secret which has been fun. A bit weird saying it out loud the first few times, but I'm really enjoying it now. A lot of the worrying has gone away, and I'm much more aware of the fact that it is literally inside me, like, right now! James was also struck by how real and close it is now. Close in the sense that it becomes a presence of it's own. It is no longer just a possibility or something that is likely to happen in six months time. It is a real baby, and it's just there, under the surface. It's like James said - all the sudden, we're not "having a baby" in September. We already have a baby. We're just waiting to meet it.
