I like to move it, move it (18 weeks)

For the past couple weeks I've been feeling the flutters of the baby moving around.  At first it was so subtle that I was certain it was actually gas bubbles, but then the expected gas never resulted... so I started to pay attention.  They were only tiny flippy-fluttery feelings so I still wasn't quite sure if I was feeling what I thought I was feeling.  There are times when it is still a flippy-flutter and very subtle, but as time goes by they are getting more distinct and impossible to imagine they are anything other than something moving around inside. (which is incredibly weird, by the way).

My favorite though was on Tuesday.  It was very weird but at the same time very exciting and nice.  James went out with a friend on Tuesday and didn't get back until after I'd gone to sleep.  So that meant that I was home by myself for a few hours.  I got home, quietly ate some food, quietly read a book, and then quietly went to bed.  There hadn't been any noise and I hadn't spoken out loud for at least three hours.  I realised this when I got into bed.  That's when I often feel some flutters - when I lay down and move about to get comfortable and then finally hold still, it's like the baby keeps moving for a bit to find their own comfy spot.  So I got into bed but I didn't feel anything.  And I realised that it had been such a calm quiet few hours.  So I just randomly spoke out loud.  I think I said something like "are you asleep already then?"  And as soon as I did, it started kicking about.  Such a strange feeling.  Not just that it was definitely moving around, but that it was doing so because it could hear my voice.  Now I don't mean to imply that I think it was reacting to the sound of "my voice" rather than just to "the sound" - but still, the fact that it is able to react at all is a startling one.  It's amazing how much of an individual actual person it can be before it is even born.  I was a bit taken aback and still am.  It makes it all the more real that there is a baby growing away.  For a long time it was just "it."  "It is 4 inches long now" - "it has fingerprints" etc.  The shift to "the baby" is a gradual one, but getting more and more natural.  And it certainly helps that the baby is working to make its own presence known.  Even the movement has shifted from "I can feel it moving" to "the baby keeps wiggling."  It's a good change, and I like it.  And I really like feeling it move.  And I will preempt anyone who dares to say "you won't be saying that for long - just wait until it really gets going."  Of course I know that will happen, but there's no point letting that knowledge of a future point make the present any less enjoyable.  It's like eating too much cake.  Even if I know I'll be sick of it in the end, that doesn't mean those first few bites are any less delicious.  So I'm happy to be in a state of mind that isn't bothered by being kept awake that little bit longer as the baby settles down... for now.