Full Term! (37 weeks)

So, once again, I haven't really got anything specific to dedicate an entire blog to - so it's going to be a mish-mash of stuff.  But I suppose that's what blogs are really about anyway, really (right?) so I guess it's ok.  Less of a "here are my thoughts on a particular subject" and more of a "here's what's a-going on."

And, as a special treat, today we did the monthly photoshoot that I avoided doing last week... so there are some pictures waiting for you at the end.  Not too different from last month really as I seem to have stopped growing... but I'm in different clothes!  And in a different location!  I know.  Very exciting.  Anyway - here's whats a-going on.

I am now considered Full Term
because I am now 37 weeks, I'm expected to be prepared to go into labour at any time and, if I do, there are no extra precautions or worries or attempts to delay.  Which is exciting!  It is now officially impossible for me to have a premature baby - so that's something that's been on the worry list for the past few months completely erased.  It also means I need to start thinking seriously about the fact that this pregnancy thing is going to END and SOON and with a BANG.
I think I had been denying it/ignoring it for a very long time.  But then James insisted that, no, really, we should pack "the bags."  So we did.  And I had a bit of a break down.  Actually having to think and consider it happening in the very real sense of "what am I going to wear" and "what music should I bring" etc made it very hard to ignore its existence.  And I got a bit scared.  I know it will be fine, I know it will all be ok, but it just got a bit overwhelming.  It's like a huge exam that you've studied really hard for - you know you've got it, you know you can do it, but you still don't want to actually go through with it.  Forcing myself to face up to reality was difficult, but necessary.  And, ever since then, I've been much better!  It was like a hurdle I needed to get over - and I'm now over it!  I'm ready, I'm prepared, I'm realistic and I'm excited.  A couple things have helped in that bringing things into perspective...


Birthing and Breastfeeding classes
James and I had our birthing class on Saturday and our breastfeeding class on Sunday.  Both were really good, though I thought the breastfeeding one was the best.  So amazing and encouraging.  The lady was very straightforward in saying basically that breastfeeding is natural but it is in no way intuitive or instinctive.  It is a skill that is learned and requires patience, practice, and help.  In the past women would grow up learning how to do it from other women but society doesn't work like that anymore - so instead, we take classes and accept guidance.  Then she taught us.  I learned so much and feel so much more prepared - and amazed - I really thought I knew at least the basics, and was shocked at how much I didn't know.  If I'd gone into it without help I would have been doing it all wrong and had to struggle through trial and error - I'm so glad these sorts of things exist!
ANYWAY.  I was talking about how this prepared me for birth.  Obviously the birthing class was equally informative, but that's not what I mean about preparing for birth.  I had an epiphany during class.  They were talking about the importance of skin-to-skin contact right after birth and how the baby would be placed on my chest immediately after to be held there for at least an hour.  I was thinking about how nice that would be when (we'll call him Junior) Junior comes and how I'm quite looking forward to holding him and that moment etc.  At the same time, the other half of my mind was contemplating the fact that Junior was really moving around quite a bit and jabbing an elbow in my side and I was trying to find a comfortable way to sit that would get him to shift over a bit.  And then my brain put two and two together... I know it sounds crazy, but I think my head was considering two different babies.  There was the future Junior whom I hadn't met yet but was the one that we were going to bring home and get to know.  There was also the Junior that I've already gotten to know as he's grown inside me.  But there was a gap in between my thinking of the two babies - probably because my mind was still trying to ignore the whole "birth" thing.  But in that moment in class, they snapped together.  And the baby that was wiggling inside me was the same as the one I was imagining holding to my chest.  It made my heart skip a little.  And I made the connection that THAT is what labour is - it is bringing Junior into the room.  Moving him from inside me to outside me.  As crazy as it sounds, that was all it took - and I am now totally ok with it.  I will gladly do whatever it takes to make that happen.  It is not some sort of test or trial or punishment or necessary evil.  It is simply what I need to do to safely bring him out of where he currently is and into our arms.  Which is an amazing thing, regardless of anything it might entail.

Contractions
So I've accepted that labour is coming soon, whenever it chooses to come, and I'm ok with that.  My body is also warming up for the occasion.  Among other things, this includes getting contractions from time to time.  This isn't a worry and the only reason I mention them is because a funny thing happened as a result.  I play softball every Wednesday.  People are generally amazed at the fact that I'm still playing but, let me assure you, it isn't all that amazing.  I'm a very good catch so there is extremely little chance of a stray ball hitting me.  Also, I obviously can't run anymore (if only for the fact that I'm not very fast) so when I go up to bat I have a replacement runner who runs for me.  It is probably riskier for me to walk down the street than to play softball - but somehow it still makes people nervous.  And by people I mean men.  I have never had a women suggest that I shouldn't be playing - but men question me every week.  Whatever.  But I digress.  This Wednesday I was walking back to the team as we came off the field and someone noticed that I was making a face and rubbing my belly.  They asked if everything was ok and I unthinkingly replied "oh yeah, it's fine, I'm just having a contraction."  Which was true - but obviously sent the entire group of people into a concerned uproar.  I forget sometimes that not everyone is as informed as to what is "normal" as someone going through it is!  I was finally able to convince them all that everything was totally ok, but I couldn't stop giggling at their panic for a long time and have since learned to choose my words carefully....

Reason number 82 why early maternity leave is brilliant
I'm over my trepidation at starting maternity leave so much sooner than I thought I would want to.  For many many reasons.  But my current discovery is this.  Even if I am not getting much bigger each week, I am still pretty big.  Which means that even my comfiest of comfy maternity trousers are impossibly uncomfy.  So the fact that I can stay in my PJs ALL DAY is INCREDIBLE!  I do go out from time to time - but I stay in PJs up to the last minute and put them back on immediately when I get home.  I don't know what I would do if I had to wear proper pants all day... what a horrific thought! 
But I do still wear clothes from time to time... and as proof, I will leave you with some suitably dressed pictures from today's 37 week photoshoot... enjoy!