07 April, 2011

Sorry! (16 weeks)

Firstly, super super sorry that it has been so long.  I got caught up in everything and lost time and had so few evenings to myself that it didn't happen.  But I'm going to try and get back to once a week from now on.

I hope you weren't worried though, as everything is fine!

Each week I had in my head what I was going to write about, but then just didn't - and now I can't remember what they were.  So, instead you just get what's on my mind right now.  And currently, the thing that's most on my mind is my expanding waistline.  It's surprising how quickly it goes once it starts going... I've been living under the patience principle these days.  Basically, I worried myself silly waiting for the first scan.  I was counting days and living in a moment that was weeks away.  I was reading the book for the weeks that were coming next instead of what I was in.  So, after the scan, I shifted my point of view.  I'm staying in the moment and enjoying everything as it happens.  Yes, there are a lot of milestones that I'm excited about, but I'm no longer feeling the "I can't wait until..." etc.  I can wait, and I'm enjoying the wait. 

But what that means is that when stuff does happen it's slightly unexpected and exciting.  That's all to explain the fact that of course I knew that I was going to get bigger, but that it was going to happen in it's own time.  It's just finding out that that time is now.  I went so long feeling puffy and chubby that the first time I put on a pair of pants and couldn't actually even button them, I was shocked!  And it hasn't stopped or gone slowly.  I went for a few days using rubber bands to hold the top button together but still zipping most of it.  And then, I went to get dressed and made it through three pairs of trousers that were an absolute no-go.  So that's it!  I know there's a long way to go still (obviously!), but it's quite fun watching it start.

That being said, there's one more new thing I've learned about pregnancy.  I don't know exactly what I've thought before, but I imagine it's similar to what a lot of people who haven't gone through it think.  A woman's pregnant belly is so foreign to what a woman normally looks like that it's easy to imagine it as "other."  Like it's a special addition.  And that makes it fair game to talk about how big or small it is, or tell her she's "huge" or various other things.  But the strange part is the fact that it is actually your own body that is changing shape.  It's not something separate or something that is solely the baby - it is your belly growing out, your bum getting bigger, and you people are looking at when they comment "wow!  You're really showing now!"  I haven't quite come to terms with that yet because it's a very very odd thing... and I imagine it gets worse when people start touching you.

But anyway!  That's all for now I guess :o)

Speak to you soon (no, really!  I will!)

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